After finishing University not too long ago, I have this small urge to travel and be independent. I get a taste of independence when I am visiting mi amor, but other than that I am less self-sufficient when I am home with the parents. I take on my role as an adult when I am away from home. So it comes down to wanting to travel. In about 4 months I am heading back to see mi amor! I am excited because this will be our small holiday time. Mi amor has a job and I want to continue with schooling. With everything happening, mi amor is not spending Christmas with me this holiday. So I must make the effort in seeing his adorable face. It will not be the same during the annual Christmas Eve Party, but I know my family will make do. Any time during the holiday season is good with me.
Okay, you are probably putting two and two together, travel and independence, you get it. However, I feel like I am at the age where I need my space. As an adult I want to make my own choices, be able to cook how I like and when I like. When I am at home I am ridiculed on the spot constantly by my parents. The concept of “birds leaving the nest” needs to happen sooner than later. My independence as of now is traveling away from home. I am young still and I want to be able to travel before I am old and gray. I am not going to be that old anytime soon, but I want to just be away from my parents. I wish my parents were the ones that encouraged to find your own space when needed. The questions of:
- Where are you planning to vacation?
- You want to try this hobby?
- You want to take a year off to explore?
These simple questions should be answered with enthusiasm and not negative criticism. My parents response to everything I do are:
- Why are you going there?
- Why are you always doing (insert a hobby here)?
- You have already been to (insert place or event), do you really need to go again?
- Why are you not focusing on school?
These questions lead to anger. Always anger and frustration from my parents when one of my siblings and I just want to enjoy life. Look I am at the age where I am an adult. I live within my means and do not go over the fence into territories I cannot pay the price for. Everything has consequences, but I cannot live my life inside a sheltered box. I think the best thing for any parent to understand is that you cannot try to control a child who has already grown to the age of adulthood. When a child is already an adult, a parent can give guidance and advice, but never push their own viewpoints onto their children. Everyone has a unique color, no two people are the same. I am sure the phrase “you can not fit square peg into a round hole” is true to a lot of things. Everyone is unique and can not fit into the same mold as everyone else. Why conform and be the same? We know that if we conform, we might as well be robots who have the same ideas and tastes. However, humans are not wired that way. I just want a bit of space and breathing room. I want my parents to know, they did not raise a fool. I do not do drugs, I do not smoke, I may have a glass of wine once in a while, but I am not a heavy drinker. I am ready to set out on my own two feet, and I want my parents to let me take that leap. Whether or not I am still leaving under their roof or not, should not make a difference. My advice for those who feel as confined as I do:
Live with the good morals your parents raised you with, but learn to explore a little. A little bit of independence goes a long way.
A little independence can teach you to fend for yourself. Trust me, around four years ago I would not even touch a cooking utensil. Two years later and a little bit of independence has made a capable adult out of me. I may not be the greatest cook, but I can cook something decent enough to eat. I know how to deal with fabric softener in a laundry load. Yes, I can admit that I hardly used a laundry machine and I always hand wash things. After two months of using a laundry machine, I can say it has changed my world of washing. I still love a good sunshine in my clothing instead of a dryer, but I work with what I am given. Also, with my holiday vacation, I am excited to be independent for two weeks again. I hope every adult learns to step away once in a while, especially those of us that still live with our parents. Trust me, you are not alone out there. Learn to enjoy and just be you. Time never goes back or looks back. Time always moves forward. Move forward with time.