When Life Does Not Throw You a Bone

Yeah, you heard me.

Life is always hard, constant struggle, and it all comes down to commodity and consumerism.

People find alternatives to stray away from capitalism and the hegemonic holds that society has always accepted. What I mean by this is, people just give up worldly possessions or material things and live off the land without a care. I wish life was a lovely song that always is sung in tune. Funny how life is not always like that. However, we always chose how we want to live our lives. I chose to live under the umbrella of what everyday people do. I am living the conventional stages of life: go through preschool to high school, get into a good university, apply to grad school, and lastly get a job. Unless I get a PhD, which is highly unlikely.

My path is not always a straight one, but tell me who’s path is always a straight one? Who has a path that does not always lands on forks to make you choose one over the other?

I wish everyone was given a free one million dollar freebie when they are born. That money would be an easier starter when the future hits and you are not forced to worry constantly that you have to find a job right away. In my fantasy world, it would be great to have but we never evolved in that direction for everyone to be equals.

I am writing this because I am a big portion of the pie that everyone else is in. We graduate university and the next step is find a job or apply to grad school (or both). However, a big chunk of us graduate and we are lost. I have been through some experience, yet I am forced to face reality a little faster than anticipated. I am lost still and trying to find my way. I was not ready to get job and had little preparation than I had hoped. I have not yet succeeded in finding something within my list. Maybe I am narrowing the search way too much or my criteria is not open enough. I have no idea. I am still feeling rather under the weather because my current boss is on the fence. I am going to reference my boss as “Boss S”. Boss S has recently applied for jobs. I was not expecting Boss S to be able to find a new place so soon. I thought I had more time, but I was mistaken. I am forced out of employment and into a hermit at home. I mean Boss S has not decided yet, and it is frustrating Boss S is on the fence of what they want to do. Boss S is giving me a whip lash I do not want. It is a constant pull of stay or go. It frustrates me because I do not know what the crap Boss S wants. I know deep in my gut Boss S is going to for sure leave. Why pull on my heartstrings so much? Just make a decision and go with it. I know it is a big choice, but Boss S was so adamant in leaving and wanting a new job. Boss S got it. I hate having my job hang in the hands of others sometimes. I understand why people decide to open and run their own businesses, but that is not my cup of tea. I am trying to figure out my life and what I should do. I put all my beans in one jar too soon. Boss S had gotten my hopes up way too soon, and Boss S just throws me in the dumps after I come back from a short time away. You can see how heartless people are these days. You think you know someone, but at the end of the day it comes down to yourself and putting yourself first. Selfish human beings we are. Makes it very frustrating. I hope Boss S gets what they wanted. Boss S wanted more money and they are getting it. Sometimes you just have to count on yourself and someone you love and trust. Not every human being is going to be nice and sweet to you. If they do, just make sure to keep alternatives/back up. If only I kept up with finding a job early on. I got too comfortable and that ended up to my own demise in the end.

Also, a lot of family stuff as well. “A heart’s a heavy burden…” –Howl’s Moving Castle (2004). That is something that I want left alone. As much as I want to pour my heart out on that.

But back to the original thoughts…my advice is to watch your own self first. It all comes down to that. Make sure you give yourself back up plans in case someone screws you over…

Time for bed.





Sephora’s Black Friday Came Early

If you are a VIB or VIB Rouge holder, you know the first two weeks of November, Sephora had their 20% off coupon. It was like a mad rush for what to buy. My list was small but it packed a big punch. Packing a big punch meant they were high end products. I always keep updated with my fair share of make-up people on YouTube. In addition, it is not a big surprise I keep a small mental list of products that look promising that I want but should wait on Sephora’s discounts. Let us begin on the goods I got, and what I think of them.

Luna Sleeping Night Oil By Sunday Riley


You heard this raved by many YouTubers. I was thinking it over and over, is this bottle worth the $105 I am about to throw down to it? The truth is, it might not work for everyone. When I first tried this, I was skeptical of how this would turn out. I am not not over the moon with the smell, but thankful it does not linger. This is definitely a major pampering item and I feel like you need to factor in multiple face items besides just this luna oil. I would definitely invest in this item. My skin complexion really improved slowly, and it really calmed the acne I already had. I noticed a brightening and my hyper-pigmentation areas were slowly fading back. Okay let me clarify, it is not like after one use my skin improved that drastically. However, I did notice the hyper-pigmentation did not look as dark. My skin was plumped and hydrated and overall glowing. I would give this oil a shot. It really helps improve complexion and do keep in mind it does take time for any major improvements to shine through. If you want a full detail of my skincare, leave a comment and I will post it in my next post.

Touche Éclat by YSL


I might as well tell you now, you will notice a lot of big name products being mentioned. So do not be surprised that during this 20% sale I was splurging on the more pricey items. To tell you the truth, I only used this item just once since I got it. I am not a morning person so when I am rushing to slap on my make up, I skip a few steps or all steps. It might just end up with me only wearing sunscreen out the door with moisturizer underneath. It also does not help when I have gym days (these are the very very minimal days because I only slap on moisturizer and that is it) because I do not wish to spend time removing make up before the workout. I will give a better review on this item when I get more chances to put on a full face of make up. So far I do actually like the texture and from the one time I wore it, it did not cake or flake. So far so good, but I will keep you posted if it is worth purchasing.

Brow Wiz by Anastasia Beverly Hills


I took this with me on my two week vacation and let me tell you, this is something I plan to buy more than once. I fell in love with the precision it gave me. I was looking for something to replace my Hourglass brow pencil. The Hourglass brow pencil is not bad at all, but I wish for more precision when I am trying to fill in my brows. I got this from the brow wiz. I was able to draw my brows in nicely and I had so much more control compared to Hourglass. Also, the packaging to the Hourglass is very poor. This is the second Hourglass brow pencil and I returned my first one because the entire product fell out of the pencil. I do not know why it detached itself from the package, but  Hourglass needs to fix this problem because it happened twice! I still use the Hourglass one, but I fell in love with Anastasia’s brow wiz. It was everything I wish for in giving me the accuracy and it glides on very smoothly! I would say definitely put your money into getting one!

Mia 2 by Clarisonic


(Lavender Hydration Skin Cleansing System- Sephora’s bundle that came with a Fresh Soy Face Cleanser, Belif The True Cream Moisturizing Bomb, and GlamGlow ThirstyMud Hydrating Treatment)

I wanted to get the Starry Night limited-edition color, however the products that were bundled with everything was not something I wanted to use. I just got this a few days ago and even after one use, I knew it was worth the investment. My skin was so smooth after using it. Even the days after my skin is still pretty smooth. As smooth as a baby’s bottom! Yes I had to say that, because it is true. My skin just feels great and the texture has improved a lot. It feels pretty nice on the skin when using it. I would say give it a good try and see for yourself. I would invest in it.


I would say give all these items a try if they are on your list! They are raved by a lot of people for a reason. But please also take things like a grain of salt. What might work for me and other people who put positive notes on them, might not work for you. However, take a chance, it is worth trying and saying you do not like it versus ignoring it completely. Sometimes things are worth trying. You never know what you might end up falling in love with!